I’ve been in love with him for more than five years. I have old magazines with his picture on the cover (Vanity Fair – July 2001, Details – Feb. 2002, among other various photos) and if I have no other celebrity crushes in my lifetime, Josh will always be the one. A magazine photo (I don’t even remember what magazine exactly) is taped up on my wall next to my desk where it has been for years. Never mind I’m not 12. It’s not coming down. I wouldn’t recognize the wall without him.

(addendum – oct 14. 2007)

I don’t know when I fell out of love with Josh exactly. It was not that long ago in terms of years, but long enough ago for me to forget when. I still have the wall photo up, but I don’t look at it like I used to and I don’t feel the same way I used to. I recognize that within myself. It was nothing he did. Just a metamorphosis of sorts occurred. You know when someone else kind of becomes so much better? Someone tangible? Someone real? Someone not famous, daresay? Someone as equally elusive, but someone…just amazing beyond belief for reasons that really can’t be understood at all. Someone who makes you never want to look at another guy again. Even if you wanted to. Someone who makes you feel…young and alive.