Jesus H. Christ (placeholder)

Jesus, msut have been brown, he made water into wine, wore cheap clothes, lived in poverty, knew how to feed thousands of people with limited basic food.

Jesus is so cool in many ways, because what wouldn’t he do?

But, sadly, the crucifixion was the biggest dissapointment. I don’t think anyone at anytime, will be able to give him justice for that act, but at the same time, he chose it.

I think everyone owes respect to a man who chose to go against everything in society, gave up 99% of life for the good of others.

However, he was still human. He masturbated like any other man would, and if he was with Mary Madgaline, there’s no reason why the didn’t have some relations.

Jesus, I think had the best sense of humor between God and Satan. For he was caught between them both, and gave literal meaning to the word “bastard”. He made it possible so that you coudl call him “Jesus X” in the way “Xmas” abbreviates the Christ in Christmas.

It’s amusing the church barely manages to keep his story straight, and failed him many a time, but i think they need to lay off the specifs, because no matter how divine he was, he was human. (period).

Jesus, in effect, was man’s best friend, but we are horridly indebted to his selfless acts, and if he was here today, we oughta give him free unrestricted access to any strip clud in the world. And at the very least, thank him in person for showing something better to live by in life. Maybe not live for, because he died for it, but there’s something better to go by.

Jesus only had one message for us all despite all these things, he can be the best friend you’ll know, because he died to live. We should always remember him as a best friend if you needed one.

chilling with jesus would be like chilling with god’s kid. that’d be an intresting time…i bet me and jesus would party it up. or if jesus wouldn’t, his lesser known brother crieg christ would. crieg doesn’t turn water into wine but into cold coors light. and he doesn’t walk on h2o, but he definatly has some crazy hydroponic shit that he and judas grow. so the question for you is not what would jesus do, but where will you be when the crieg machine comes partying through…

hell of a guy, that jesus character. alot funnier than you would think, and boy oh boy does he cuss like a pirate. usually shows up when people are rocking the ganj.

Jesus was a capricorn
He ate organic food
He believed in love and peace
And never wore no shoes

Long hair, beard and sandles
And a funky bunch of friends
Reckon we’d just nail him up
If he came down again

Born of hippy parents in a barn near Haifa, he grew up to be a transvestite working the Golan Heights, which is somewhere in Brooklyn, I think.

His brother, Jesus Fucking Christ, was a well-known cross-dresser, whose picture appears above.

(You people didn’t think I knew all this crap, did you?)